Steer Clear of Dirty Birds, Son.
March 25, 2008 @ 3:03 PM
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Brian Schaefer from the Skatepark of Tampa was in town after the Copenhagen Pro contest, Friday was coming up and so was the Roskilde festival. I had promised the Skatepark of Tampa partyteam (Brian S, Roberto Aleman, David Gravette, Preston Maigetter, Joe Hammeke,
Rob Meronek) a tour to the Roskilde festival in the mud.
The dirty bird story starts with a few beers, of course.
Friday Night: Since it had been raining for 2 months we needed some rain suits,
and so we jump in a taxi and 30 minutess later Brian S buys 7 rainsuits
for the SPOT party crew and me, the tour guide, for over a 1000 dollars and in this great deal Brian gets, for free, the beautiful dirty bird. A fine piece of bird. The bird was going to Roskilde with us. (Ed’s note- it was a display in a camping shop that Schaefer insisted on keeping)
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A few more beers later, the bet is on. At around 10 pm on the Friday night in Roskilde the challenge was thrown down: can Brian Schaefer carry and hold the dirty bird throughout a whole month’s European hellride tour and get the dirty bird all the way back to skate park of Tampa?
If he succeeds with this, I will buy him a vacation for 5 days, me and him, destination any choice in the world. If he loses he will buy me the vacation.
(Please note: at 10 pm, drunk at the Roskilde festival there is no way in hell that this is humanly possible. The chances are very small that you will get the bird out of Roskilde, never mind carry on for the next 5 weeks of tour hell)
After this, the bet is kind of forgotten and the night is a bit blurry, but I do remember the dirty bird dancing in the Techno tent and getting a song dedicated from some band, plus drinking Long Island Ice Teas at 6 am with Rune Glifberg and his lady.
A few days later I get an email from Brian S & his crew crew in Berlin with the
Dirty bird, he was spamming me with dirty bird pics, bird in the dirty bar, bird eating pizza, bird in a concert and so on and so on. Every day I would get new emails with dirty bird updates, dirty bird this, dirty bird that. A week goes by and I get new emails about dirty bird now from Prague, during the Mystic Cup (please check the best handrail trick comp for proof) and I’m like ‘Maaan this is not possible to carry that fucking bird around and not lose it for over 2 weeks’.
So I decided to take some action.
Amsterdamn Am was coming up and I’m like: got to send in some spies to steal the dirty bird.
Therefore I hire 2 skaters and a special weapon: 2 girls.
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I could not go my self, so this is only part of the story.
During the weekend my special crew kidnapped the bird for a few hours, lost it again, second attempt kidnapped only the legs (?!)… and lost it again, almost had it again, till one of my girls got 100 % American football tackled, hardcore style, by one of the Dirty Bird Guards After that, my spiess backed off and caledl me and inform me the mission failed and was off. She was on the phone “Dirty bird apparently has 7 guards!” and “they are ready to die for the bird”!
By this time, Brian S has now had the bird for 4 weeks and I had one last chance to get it during the Rotterdam contest. Also in the mean time I had people calling me about the dirty bird, asking how the dirty bird situation was and where the bird was,( a bit odd) when I first arrived in Rotterdam it seemed like there was 2 kinds of people: people on my side and people on the Dirty bird side. I checked into the same hotel as Brian S and I would attempt to kidnap the bird here. But what I soon realised was that Brian had been hiring more Amsterdamn Am guards to guard the bird. I could not go anywhere near the bird at all, and Brian had the dirty bird moved from different hotel rooms every other hour. During the contest the kept the bird on the platform guarded by 3 dudes the entire weekend. As a last ditch attempt, I did get a hold of Brian’s airline and tried to get a hold of his bags, but here the mission failed too. So Sunday night 5 weeks after our bet, I realised that Brian S won the bet. Carrying a plastic Dirty bird around
Europe for 5 weeks and got it back to Tampa safe. The dirty bird had been to Roskilde, Berlin, Prague, in a best trick contest, kissing girls, coffee shops , Amsterdam AM, Rotterdam, got kidnapped a few times & lost its legs temporarily. These are just some of things that happened to that bird. He really completed the mission, thanks to his big crew and now Brian and I go on vacation together with the bird for 5 days out of my pocket.
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To this day I still get asked if I ever got the bird back....people don’t get it-
I never had the bird in the first place.
Maybe Brian will bring it back next year for round 2 and a new bet.
FACT OF THE DIRTY BIRD
- Name: is Seagrette Dirty Bird Kring
- Height: over a metre tall
-nationality: as far as we know Danish, born in Copenhagen in an army store.
- Lives: currently lives in Tampa, Florida, USA
-age: unknown
-sponsors: Skatepark of Tampa party team
-Roberto Aleman almost forgot the dirty bird during the Prague contest
Thomas Kring is a bitter, and now poorer, suntanned skateboarder from Copenhagen, Denmark.
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