Four seasons of Paris

December 11, 2007 @ 3:49 PM

If skateboard magazines are to be trusted in order to get an idea of what a good destination might be, I believe Paris is on the lowest part of the charts. For various reasons ranging from “people are very rude to you”, “taxi drivers will rip you off” or “nobody speaks English”…and you thought skaters were well-traveled, street smart, tough guys! With no spare money for a cab ride, anyway. Maybe not.

Or, could the people that write those articles not really be in touch with the reality of being young and adventurous anymore? You said it! So, here is a very brief (to the say the least) introduction to one the greatest mysteries of modern tourism, and the proof that there is a lot to shred there…

Funnily enough, the French capital is the number one travel destination in the world. Not New York, not Livingston, not New Delhi, nor Barcelona —all places that deserve saving for a plane ticket—but Paris. 27 million people actually travel from all over the world to pay a visit every year. And the best part about it is that most Parisians still ignore the fact and live very oblivious to the idea that one tenth of their jobs are directly linked to tourism. This might explain the “rude” part of the legend. And, then again, who wants to deal with a bunch of idiots standing dumfounded in front of a turnpike, while you are late for work? Hmm?

Vivein Feil, 360 flip

This great void (it sometimes look more like a chasm, to be fair!) between the reality of Paris and how its visitors (and inhabitants) perceive it has gone to great lengths lately. Enter the Paris Syndrome for which a dozen or more Japanese tourists have been treated this year. They had saved up for half of their life to fly over here, got carried around in tour buses all day, and finally tried to have a quiet moment in some public toilets on the Champs-Elysées (already used by a few hundred thousands people before them on that day!) and realized the place was… Dirty! This is where they mentally collapsed: the dream they have been fed all their life of a city of refinement and culture meets the reality that, well, French toilets don’t clean themselves, and the locals might pick up their nose just like everybody else. Another greatly disregarded point is that the golden age of jazz caves and intellectual and writing geniuses meeting points of St Germain ended over half a century ago. Now, all you’ll find there are overpriced restaurants and cafés full of Americans looking for… Hell, they don’t even know what they are looking for anymore. It’s been such a long time! And Paris, just like every other big city of this world, depends on tourism so much that it is ready to lie.

Martin Keller, switch backside ollie

Hence the faux-charming places where you’ll be served in cardboard and, way worse, the pushing away of the part of the population not “looking good” enough. If some people are still seeing this place as a kingdom of wealth for white people clad in Cardin suits and Vuitton dresses, too bad for them. Paris is not the sum of all its attractions, sites, museums and fashion stores, but the addition of all its lives: horribly rich, dramatically poor, thieves, liars, saints, assholes, prostitutes, racists, idiots, geniuses, Pakistani cooks, Muslim corner store owners and Chinese journeymen. They are Paris, and they live there, so please show respect where it’s due. And be even more kind and nice to the occasional grumbling arrogant: this is the worst you could do to him!

So, when you finally make it to Paris, I advise you to look for more than what you’ve been told of what Paris is. And that includes the Bercy ledges. Sure they are fun, and worth a go, just like the Bateau-Mouche ride and the Eiffel Tower are, but you have a lot more waiting for you. And this is where meeting some locals and befriending them is your key to success. And the greatest gift from skateboarding. So, do ask questions, and be ready to embark on hour long Metro rides to meet up for a beer by the canal, or at the new concrete wave, because this is where you’ll see a lot more than you expected. And also talented skateboarders you have never really heard of (which this article is mostly focusing on). There must be a reason if some non-professional skateboarders save up on candy and extra cheese all year to come back and enjoy a week or two of this. Yes, on their own money, not some corporation credit card. Some don’t even have parts to film, if you can believe that. But they come back, anyway.

Jon Monier, frontside crail wallride

One thing, though, when timing your trip, don’t pick any cheap ticket season, as the weather (also!) can get quite neurotic here. Spring and autumn can be perfect or horrible, but you can’t really predict it. So, even in these times when seasons are not really “stable” anymore, July and August are still your best bet. And as in many a big city of the world, summer can get brutal in Paris: pollution, over population and whatever nuisance defines life in the metropolis all seem sublimated by the heat. And, just like everywhere else on the globe, the inhabitants (or at least the ones that can afford it!) migrate to greener pastures or even busier sand beaches. But this summer vacation thing reaches another level here. In the middle of August, the traditional holiday season for all French men and women, you might end up walking deserted streets, trying to find a store, café or restaurant open. And at those times, the rare people you might cross paths with will most likely discuss the same topic, except in a foreign language. Which won’t help any of you to actually find a bite to eat! But which gives you what your Paris Dream might be made of: empty streets to cruise all night, from one spot to the other! All you’ll have to bother with is some water supply to carry with you, and what time those Swedish sisters will be back to the Youth Hostel. Now is your time.

Take it!

By the tower

At the bottom of the now 118 year old Eiffel Tower lies one of the oldest milestones of European skateboarding: its ponds. There, when the ducks and water are removed for various resurfacing, cleaning or plumbing activities, appears what could be described as one of the best accidental skateparks in history. It all goes back to the end of the eighties when the Trocadero locals found out the ponds were empty and that under the greenish water had always lain some perfect transitions. That same year, some huge Euro Cup thing happened in Paris down the road, while the ponds happened to be empty. Every skater from Germany or Holland got to skate it and quickly spread the gospel about the place. Soon enough, Natas Kaupas (then, the equivalent of a Super Andrew Reynolds now, kids!) showed up and ollied the massive island (something no one has ever done since!) and made the spot legendary. A few years later, Mark Gonzales and Jason Lee had lines there in the Video Days video. Since then, people have been traveling the globe in order to get their share of the mellow trannies and the strangely shaped oversized coping and write their own chapter of the legend, along the likes of Tom Penny, Jérémie Daclin, Phil Shao, Danny Way, Julian Stranger or John Cardiel.

Nico Eustache, nollie heelflip

The thing is, you can never predict when it might get emptied and for how long. It’s been varying from hours to months. Same thing with the police station next to it: they might let you skate all night (day time sessions are first to be negotiated with workers!), or kick you out right way. Rumors have it that the fist timers had a patrol organized to check on it every day and be the first ones to know, if… Then, they can show up with beers and talk about the good old days. Usually with no board.

So, when in town, do stop by the 10 thousands ton monster and look at its feet, you never know!

Survival tips!

OK, let’s run this by order of importance.

*Coffee: when you’ll ask for a “café”, you’ll be served a very short espresso with no milk. If you’re seeking a vase of orange mud, order a “double café au lait”. Oh, and don’t give your money to Starbucks if possible. Because this is not where you’ll get great memories from, even if it’s about an argument with an arrogant waiter.

*Metro pass: Don’t buy your tickets one by one, or it’ll cost you an arm quickly. You can buy a weekly pass from Monday to Sunday for 16,50 Euros (it’s called a Carte Orange Semaine, and you’ll need to slap a picture on it). And, if not, buy tickets by bulks of ten for 11,50 Euros. Just like the pass, they’ll allow you to use buses and Metro, and get across town real fast. The Metro is quite efficient to reach outskirts like Créteil or La Défense. And the bus will get you back home after a day of pushing around.

*Two wheelers: if you own a credit card, you can now rent city bikes (called Vélib’) from around a Euro a day, depending of how you use it and for how long. Quite convenient to come back home when the Metro has closed (around 1AM) for the night.

*Unlike places like New York, eating out in Paris is more expensive than cooking home, so most of restaurants can’t be considered cheap. A great option for lunch is a boulangerie, where on top of all the bread in the world, you’ll find varied sandwiches and quiches. Plus tartes made from every fruit possible! Also, if you stumble upon a street market, look for stands where they cook African or Moroccan food. Do avoid midnight Kebabs!

*Try speaking French! Or at least spice up your English with some basics like “bonjour”, “merci” and all that gibberish. If being allergic to foreign languages is one of French people’s major flaw, you making an effort will usually be greatly appreciated. Well, sometimes…

Claude Levy, 360 flip

That one slut!

Now, I know it might be a bit difficult to swallow, and quite an abrupt way to say it, but well, Amélie is NOT a documentary, but, dare I say it, FULLY fictional. So, in other words, this is not even a film inspired by some romantic saints life. At all…it’s false. Everything! So, please, when rushing toward the Pigalle area in order to get your first coffee served by a beautifully sweet brunette at that one café, please keep your eyes to the ground, or your little heart might get crushed by the vision of what’s left of 70’s Sexodromes and other Peep Shows that once might have been lavish and hip, but now are just sweating washed out pictures on their billboards. Yes, Amélie’s café does exist, and I believe you can maybe find a seat there too, then get stabbed in the wallet, but it is located in the heart of what was once referred to as Gay Paris before homosexuals ran away with all the joy of this world. Sure, the dancing revues and whatnot are still a happening business, and actually a very decent attraction (I got told by women!), but the rest of the boulevard might not be for the faintest hearts that belong to the Amélie fans. So, make sure you don’t enter the wrong door. Unless it’s on purpose.

Lionel Dominioni, switch ollie

Then go wash all your sins at the near-by Sacré-Cœur. Hell, it got built in 1875 (over 40 years) to prove that the thirty thousands recently exterminated communists were not the real Paris, and that the white bearded god was still ruling France, so it should do the job for you. Plus, Catholicism has never turned away any money from tourists, has it?

Joseph Biais, flip